What is a Sexaholic and What is Sexual Sobriety?
We can only speak for ourselves. The specialized nature of Sexaholics Anonymous can best be
understood in terms of what we call the sexaholic. The sexaholic has taken himself or herself
out of the whole context of what is right or wrong. He or she has lost control, no longer has the
power of choice, and is not free to stop. Lust has become an addiction. Our situation is like that
of the alcoholic who can no longer tolerate alcohol and must stop drinking altogether but is
hooked and cannot stop. So it is with the sexaholic, or sex drunk, who can no longer tolerate
lust but cannot stop.
Thus, for the sexaholic, any form of sex with one's self or with partners other than the spouse is
progressively addictive and destructive. We also see that lust is the driving force behind our
sexual acting out, and true sobriety includes progressive victory over lust. These conclusions
were forced upon us in the crucible of our experiences and recovery; we have no other options.
But we have found that acceptance of these facts is the key to a happy and joyous freedom we
could otherwise never know.
This will and should discourage many inquirers who admit to sexual obsession or compulsion
but who simply want to control and enjoy it, much as the alcoholic would like to control and
enjoy drinking. Until we had been driven to the point of despair, until we really wanted to stop
but could not, we did not give ourselves to this program of recovery. Sexaholics Anonymous is
for those who know they have no other option but to stop, and their own enlightened
self-interest must tell them this.
© 1989, 2001 SA Literature.
Reprinted with permission of SA Literature. © 1997-2007 Sexaholics Anonymous Inc.
understood in terms of what we call the sexaholic. The sexaholic has taken himself or herself
out of the whole context of what is right or wrong. He or she has lost control, no longer has the
power of choice, and is not free to stop. Lust has become an addiction. Our situation is like that
of the alcoholic who can no longer tolerate alcohol and must stop drinking altogether but is
hooked and cannot stop. So it is with the sexaholic, or sex drunk, who can no longer tolerate
lust but cannot stop.
Thus, for the sexaholic, any form of sex with one's self or with partners other than the spouse is
progressively addictive and destructive. We also see that lust is the driving force behind our
sexual acting out, and true sobriety includes progressive victory over lust. These conclusions
were forced upon us in the crucible of our experiences and recovery; we have no other options.
But we have found that acceptance of these facts is the key to a happy and joyous freedom we
could otherwise never know.
This will and should discourage many inquirers who admit to sexual obsession or compulsion
but who simply want to control and enjoy it, much as the alcoholic would like to control and
enjoy drinking. Until we had been driven to the point of despair, until we really wanted to stop
but could not, we did not give ourselves to this program of recovery. Sexaholics Anonymous is
for those who know they have no other option but to stop, and their own enlightened
self-interest must tell them this.
© 1989, 2001 SA Literature.
Reprinted with permission of SA Literature. © 1997-2007 Sexaholics Anonymous Inc.
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