The Problem
Many of us felt inadequate, unworthy, alone, and afraid. Our insides never matched what we
saw on the outsides of others.
Early on, we came to feel disconnected -- from parents, from peers, from ourselves. We tuned
out with fantasy and masturbation. We plugged in by drinking in the pictures, the images, and
pursuing the objects of our fantasies. We lusted and wanted to be lusted after.
We became true addicts: sex with self, promiscuity, adultery, dependency relationships, and
more fantasy. We got it through the eyes; we bought it, we sold it, we traded it, we gave it away.
We were addicted to the intrigue, the tease, the forbidden. The only way we knew to be free of it
was to do it. "Please connect with me and make me whole!" we cried with outstretched arms.
Lusting after the Big Fix, we gave away our power to others.
This produced guilt, self-hatred, remorse, emptiness, and pain, and we were driven ever
inward, away from reality, away from love, lost inside ourselves.
Our habit made true intimacy impossible. We could never know real union with another
because we were addicted to the unreal. We went for the "chemistry," the connection that had
the magic, because it by-passed intimacy and true union. Fantasy corrupted the real; lust killed
love.
First addicts, then love cripples, we took from others to fill up what was lacking in ourselves.
Conning ourselves time and again that the next one would save us, we were really losing our
lives.
© 1982, 1989, 2001 SA Literature.
Reprinted with permission of SA Literature. © 1997-2007 Sexaholics Anonymous Inc.
saw on the outsides of others.
Early on, we came to feel disconnected -- from parents, from peers, from ourselves. We tuned
out with fantasy and masturbation. We plugged in by drinking in the pictures, the images, and
pursuing the objects of our fantasies. We lusted and wanted to be lusted after.
We became true addicts: sex with self, promiscuity, adultery, dependency relationships, and
more fantasy. We got it through the eyes; we bought it, we sold it, we traded it, we gave it away.
We were addicted to the intrigue, the tease, the forbidden. The only way we knew to be free of it
was to do it. "Please connect with me and make me whole!" we cried with outstretched arms.
Lusting after the Big Fix, we gave away our power to others.
This produced guilt, self-hatred, remorse, emptiness, and pain, and we were driven ever
inward, away from reality, away from love, lost inside ourselves.
Our habit made true intimacy impossible. We could never know real union with another
because we were addicted to the unreal. We went for the "chemistry," the connection that had
the magic, because it by-passed intimacy and true union. Fantasy corrupted the real; lust killed
love.
First addicts, then love cripples, we took from others to fill up what was lacking in ourselves.
Conning ourselves time and again that the next one would save us, we were really losing our
lives.
© 1982, 1989, 2001 SA Literature.
Reprinted with permission of SA Literature. © 1997-2007 Sexaholics Anonymous Inc.
About SA
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